"JUST BECAUSE!"

Sooooo I was having a conversation today with a young lady who had broken up with her boyfriend a while back. It had been a while since we had spoken so I asked her if they had gotten back together.  She took that awkward pause and said something along the lines of "I guess so."  Not judgmentally, but just out of curiousity I proceeded to ask her "why?"  In my mind I'm thinking surely she has some good reasons as to why they would continue their relationship, but to my surprise her answer to me was "just because!"

This just in!...that's my motivation for writing this blog! I believe we have a very fundamental problem in the world of building productive and successful relationships when the only reason that a person can come up with as to why they are involved with someone is "just because!"  Now I know what you all are thinking...well maybe she was sprung, or maybe he really is a good guy but she just had a brain fart, or maybe this or maybe that!!! For all of you who are looking for a reason to discredit my take on this I would ask you to take a moment to think about your own life, your own family, and your own friends.  I can almost garauntee you that you know someone who is in a dead end relationship where if you asked them why they are in it you would get a similar answer to "just because."

Is it just me, or am I over-zealous for thinking that if you are in a relationship and someone asks you why, you should be able to rattle off multiple reasons to justify "why?". In my opinion this fundamental problem is a small piece of a bigger puzzle.  No matter how much technology is created in this world, and no matter how much we isoloate ourselves from human contact with emails, text messages, twitter, and facebook the world still thrives on the HUMAN ability to build and sustain good relationships! The pure and raw desire for companionship, love, and human relation will always dominate the human species, and because we have so many people in relationships "just because" we inevitably end up surrounded by people who are unhappy, lost, unmotivated, pessimistic, envious, and bitter!

Follow me now.....this idea of "just because," is one that extends far beyond the idea of just intimate relationships.  See we must all be ready and willing to ask ourselves a couple of questions as we evaluate ALL of the relationships in our lives.  The first question is; why am I involved in this relationship? The second questions is; what value does this person/relationship add to my life? Now please dont take what I am writing the wrong way because by no means am I suggesting that you should only engage in relationships for the sole intention of getting something out of them.  What I am saying though is that if you consistently engage in relationships where you get NO fulfillment, support, companionship, motivation, love, or added value, but you get A LOT of  negativity, complacency, misery, abuse, pessimism, and mistreatment then maybe it's time for you reevaluate just why you are in that relationship.

Now many of you may be reading this blog thinking that what I am exposing is "common sense!"  I would argue that its not.  I would argue that many of you reading are in, or have been in these types of relationships rather it be with signficant others, friends,or even family. Its only because its what you are "used" to, or because you are afriad of being alone that you trick yourself into believing that you  have good reasons, yet you have been thinking for the length of this blog and you are still thinking "just because."

The purpose of this blog is not to devalue your relationships, but rather it is to get you to reevaluate your relationships, so that you may rid yourself of the bad ones and make room for the valuable ones.  You ultimately become the company that you keep and if the company you keep is not adding value to your life then 9 times out of ten you are probably doing it "just because!"