BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SIGN UP FOR!!

Soooo how many times have you found yourself advising a friend or family member about a bad situation he or she is going through that you know they SIGNED UP FOR???  Even worse is when you tried to tell them to NOT sign up for it and they took the damn pen right out of your hand and signed right on the dotted line........................I don't know about you, but one of the hardest things in the world for me to do (but I have gotten better at it) is to be empathetic or sympathetic to a persons’ situation when I know they knew what they were signing up for before they got into it! If you don’t get what I am saying yet let me provide you with a few scenarios that may illustrate it. 

Scenario 1: Your home girl meets this dude that has 5 kids by 5 different baby mamas and he is never with any of his kids, doesn’t pay any child support, and has no real work ethic (can’t keep a job) whatsoever. You being the good friend that you are, you give your honest opinion about the situation and try to stop her from dealing with the guy. Despite your advice your friend slowly but surely allows herself to fall for this guy and a few months later she is pregnant with his kid # 6.  Fast forward and the kid is born and now the complaining and crying to you starts.  He's never around, he doesn’t buy any diapers, he helps with no bills, doesn’t ever come help her with the baby.....! Sound familiar yet?

Scenario 2: (This one applies to both sexes)…Your friend meets someone and in a matter of days or weeks the person becomes very clingy....calling all the time, asking where you are and who you are with, wanting all your time and attention and just showing all the signs of insecurity and control...AKA...red flags! Needless to say your friend goes ahead and pursues the relationship because to them the insecurity is cute so they justify it by categorizing it as "caring!"  Oh I know y’all feel me on this one...you see that ticking time bomb in motion and then it explodes! Insecurity becomes abuse, abuse becomes stalking, stalking then becomes a restraining order and now you have a disaster of a relationship resulting in a friend with permanent baggage! Now you spend the rest of your life trying to stop your friend from sabotaging any potential for future successful relationships. Yeah it may not be that extreme in every case but you get my drift!

So what’s my point?  My point is a very simple one....BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SIGN UP FOR!!!!!!!!!  The fact of the matter is that people are what they continually DO and when they show you who they are BELIEVE THEM!! Too many times people try to justify their choices by playing the "I didn’t know" card when in reality they knew from day one. They saw every sign, every behavior, and every red flag, but chose to think #1; they could change the person or #2; they just chose to be oblivious because they were blinded by “love” or finally #3; they were so desperate for the attention they refused to take the hint!!

So I know what you are thinking...well Troy sometimes people change, or it’s easy to say these things when you are on the outside looking in. Trust me I get it, but I believe that these naive thoughts are only valid for young people who have not experienced enough in their lifetimes to know better.  I say that to say this...there comes a point in life where ignoring red flags and signing up for something that you know is not good for you is inexcusable!!  You can't consistently put yourself in bad situations and get involved with people who show you their true colors up front and expect people to continue to empathize and sympathize with you.  The fact of the matter is that your friends will only bail you out of situations for so long until they become so frustrated with your decisions that they give up on you!

Look people, by no means am I so opinionated that I don’t know that sometimes love is blind, and sometimes there are exceptions to rules, but we all know that more times than not when we see people in bad situations or bad relationships most of the time if they just would have paid attention they would have seen all the signs.  There are many people in the world that are good actors, but most of the time we can only act for so long before we the true person comes out.  With that said all I am asking is that people take the time to get to know peoples’ actions before we go falling in love and trying to change people.  Stop getting so caught up in the world of text messages, email, Twitter, and Facebook, where people can really "act," and start getting back to the basics of building relationships and friendships.  Stop getting so caught up in the IDEA of love and a relationship and just BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SIGN UP FOR!!