WHAT HAPPENED TO DATING??

Okay, okay, okay I know Im not the only one who is baffled by the amount of turnover, and lack of longevity there is in relationships these days.  I mean the divorce rate is something like 50%, and I know everybody has those friends that have a new "significant other" like every 6 months to a year.  Trust me I get it, we have become a society of instant gratification and little patience, but Im willing to put it out there that even though generations and people have evolved, there is still something to this whole DATING thing when its done the right way!

PSA!!!!!!!! Texting someone all day does not, I repeat, DOES NOT equal or subsitute for dating.  I know you have heard people say these famous words..."we've been texting all day!" You know what my response is..."SO WHAT!" Look I know that texting is the new and cool way to communicate, but the bottom line is that if you really want to get to know a person texting them all day is not the way to do it.  Texting all day is like an open book test with no time limit. There is no pressure, you have to much time to look up all the answers, and it is not a true representation of rather or not you know the material! People can be whoever they want to be over text messages, they can send mixed signals, and they can show you a high level of false attention.  The bottom line is that the only way you can really get to know another person is by spending time with them IN PERSON, and the best way to do that is to go on real DATES!

Okay so now that we have cleared that up think about this...Im willing to bet that the average dating scenario goes like this; boy meets girl....boy and girl text a lot for a few days.....boy and girl may finally go out and grab a drink....boy and girl text some more.....boy and girl go have one more drink, get a little tipsy, and boy and girl go home and have sex. All this probably happens in a matter of a week and then guess what follows. Either the texts messages stop coming as often b/c he already hit it, or either both people are sprung off of lust and they end up in a relationship based on nothing but how good the other person made them "feel."  Hey look if all you want to get out of the situation is a good time and a little sex then hey this might be the right approach, but with all the people I hear crying about being single, and cant figure out where all the "good ones" at?;, or claiming ppl arent who they thought they were, Im guessing something might need to change. 

The point Im trying to make is very simple and thats that if people really invested the time into dating and getting to know each other before they start bumping and grinding then maybe, just maybe some of these relationships might last a little bit longer.  If people took the time to allow someone to show you who they really are before they go all in then maybe there would be a lot less confusion and heartbreak.  One of the biggest problems I think is that people tend to tell to much to soon.  Think about it...if you write down all the answers to a test 5 days before the exam then the odds that the student will fail are slim to none.  What I mean by that is that if you are dating and you talk to much and give out all of your secrets up front about what you like/dislike/want/dont want... then the person you are dating will probably conform to be the person of your dreams. If only you would take the time to let someone reveal themselves and then see if they might be a compliment to you then maybe you wont be looking around 6 months later thinking "damn they are a totally different person!"

Hey I know this blog is getting long but I have got to address this.  Ladies if I hear one more of you say something to the extent of "yeah Ill go out with him, hey its a free meal," I might just snap.  Ladies stop spending your time enteratining guys that you are not the least interested in.  The fact of the matter is that there are guys that really want to take women out on real dates, but if women continue to date just because they are bored then men indirectly start to put less effort into pursuing and dating women.  If women go out on 3 or more dates and never offer to pay then men will just stop pursuing you and your selfish ways.  Women stop putting all the pressure on men when it comes to dating and start being active participants.  No guy wants to have to pick up, plan and pay everytime yall go out.  Stop being Miss I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T only when its convenient for you.  If he feeling you and you feeling him I promise it wont hurt for you take control of a date or two.  Fellas stop avoiding dating b/c you think that you gonna have to spend to much money.  Put more thought into the date and less money...stop trying to to flex and stunt when you know you really aint #BOUTDATLIFE!"

Finally people just remember this...the point of a DATE is to arrange a time to meet with someone in person and decide if you may want to see them again.  The point of DATING is to learn about who a person really and truly is and to gather enough information to figure out if that person may be a good compliment for you long term.  So the title of my blog was "WHAT HAPPENED TO DATING,.." my answer is "NOTHING," I think that maybe ppl just forgot what the purpose of it is!

THANKS FOR READING!!